December 2011
1 post
gingerhaze:
Helen Mirren wants to play the Doctor
Am I just super into this?
Yes
WHAT
November 2011
1 post
October 2011
2 posts
LOL FML
This morning I
1. Woke up.
2. Found myself on the floor.
3. Drank a gallon of water.
4. Thought about last night.
5. Said, “FUCK.”
Need serious damage control right now.
The best time I was (mostly) sober
Usual equation: me + alcohol = me getting trashed, kissing people, picking up people, passing out on the floor, etc.
This time: me + alcohol = me running around with water, getting kissed (6x), and getting picked up (10x, ok I get it dudes, I’m small), and people plastered all over my living room floor.
Something is wrong with this picture, but lololololol
September 2011
2 posts
My First Power Suit, also known as, A Study of...
Me: The jacket fits reaaalllllly well but the pants are a bit tight around my butt
Mom: You need to lose weight.
Me: I’ve already lost 5 lbs since school started!
Sister: That suit is only 50 dollars. Lose 5 more lbs.
Lol thanks guys.
August 2011
5 posts
mysterious dream excerpt
“For your homework assignment……..make a sandwich. With a $25 loaf of brioche”
“I’m not buying a fucking $25 loaf of brioche. I can make that shit for $4!”
“You better fucking buy it. From [redacted due to fuzzy memory], none the less. Or I am failing your ass!”
This then shifted into traveling with my family through Cambodian ruins for some...
July 2011
4 posts
June 2011
8 posts
Wine is a sun in a garment of red Chinese silk. It flows; its source is the flask. Drink, then, in the pleasance of time, since our day Is a day of delight which has brought dew.
Ibn Al-Tammar
Well, that pretty much sums it up
newsweek:
Zoosk, the online dating site, asked 5,000 singles how they’d feel about receiving unexpected lewd photos.
61% of gals said “creepy”; 71% of dudes said “sexy.”
And there you have it, folks.
secrets
I like the idea of fruit tarts, but reality is always underwhelming. Bland pastry cream? Slimy gelatin casing? Please, give me a fucking proper cake.
May 2011
1 post
cliched lists, fremont flea market edition
1940s gold orchid brooch - $10
gold orchid brooch - $2
(yes, I’m narcissistic)
bowtie sweater guards - $5
vintage earrings - $2
a grocery bagful of new kitchen crap (omg 50c thermometers! CHEAP PYREX) - $5
learning to haggle like an old asian lady - priceless
April 2011
2 posts
soooo....
I’m looking over my senior thesis, and can’t be bothered to give a shit about any of this anymore.
Welp, there goes 4 years of schooling, hah.
(ex) roommate love
T: I think I saw you walking near medical buildings this morning
Me: Yeah, that sounds about right
T: Lol, I saw a person in sunglasses and lipstick and thought, That’s you!
…and this is post haircut, +big sunglasses, +pound of makeup. impressive!
March 2011
2 posts
spring cleaning
I have a strangely clear memory when it comes to my clothes. Take for example, this rather uncharacteristic (for my wardrobe) er, half-sweatshirt? Basically a gray velour, v-necked pullover sweatshirt with coiled pink cord, central banded in gray, twisted about like a alpha protein helix. A shrunken length, suitable for my body type (all legs, no waist, gives a general impression of HIPS...
February 2011
3 posts
The war on junk mail.
Goal: Stop all the muthafucking mail.
1 Sign up on Optoutprescreen.
2 Change my addresses through USPS (save a buck by doing it in person).
3 Cease all catalogs.
4 Cease paper bills.
5 Track down loose identity trails on Internet; purge.
6 Send C&D letters to companies.
7 If [6] fails, harass the shit out of said companies via phone.
January 2011
7 posts
today
today, a young boy biked up to a fallen tree wrapped with caution tape, bent over the sad trunk, and straightened, victorious, waving an entire yellow roll at an empty street, our car his only witness.
today, i visited what may have well been the poshest mobile home in history, resplendent with lush carpets, leather bound books, and sunlight. today, i was gifted a well-worn camel suitcase filled...
another week, another funeral. there was a time in my childhood when it seemed like everybody in our tangled network of family and friends was getting married. these days incense clouds my memories, tendrils of smoke dancing lazily in the air as mustard yellow sticks crumble into graying ashes. the clack of rosary beads and relentless singsong ave, marias fill my ears, occasionally interrupted by...
Please stay out of my fucking life.
A true friend, indeed
Alternatively, The dangers of deleting Facebook:
“I even Googled your name, just to make you didn’t die or something. Twice”
cashing in on consumerism
now the question is: food processor from a cheaper brand or a decent beginner’s ukulele?
HAPPY TO SAD
jamesvandermemes:
The state of L.
December 2010
7 posts
resolutions
1. Write more, to the point of developing logorrhea.
2. Cut down on papers (and recycle, of course).
3. Save trees (by forcing all this junk mail/paper to stop clogging my mailboxes, ugh)
5 tags
For this lovely Yuletide season, my dear cousin (I say this unironically. We get along great) gave my aunt a gift that truly embodied the Meaning of Christmas. It was the gift of piety. After a nine-year hiatus, he would voluntarily go to Confession and he would enthusiastically drag his ass to Midnight Mass with the rest of the family. My aunt, being a Tong, and thus, Really Damn Catholic, was...
Just click it. Chris Niemann, I love you! →
…”And just remember that Europe is just and old man with a good reputation. See you soon.”
…thank you Pelle and your beautiful nonpresent korean-adoptee wife. Thank you danish people (medemarie of beret and charades and impeccable accents, sophia passed out on the floor, leo of late introductions, bert the eldest child of belgium, martin the ee bonded in civil union to...
“The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that.”
– Elizabeth Edwards, RIP
November 2010
6 posts
“Life, friends, is boring. We must not say so.
After all, the sky flashes, the...”
– John Berryman, Dream Song 14
more depressing stuff to put your life in...
http://www.chinasmack.com/2010/stories/guangxi-chinese-aids-orphan-a-long.html
happy thanksgiving!
recipe exchange: rosemary bread
2 cups bread flour
1 cup all purpose flour
1/2 tsp active dry yeast
2 tbsp sugar
2 tsp table salt
1 cup + 3 tbs water (and more, as needed)
2 tbs basalmic vinegar
Fresh rosemary needles, chopped
Caraway seeds, for garnishing
Proof yeast in 1/4 cup warm water and 1 tbsp sugar. When foaming, dump in flour salt, remaining sugar, and remaining liquids. Fold in rosemary. Dough should be...
extra time = cooking time
Dinner with Will:
Warm Mushroom Salad Basalmic/Rice vinegar reduction on top of baby arugula.
Mushroom and Spinach Quiche Olive oil crust recipe from slashfood. A keeper.
Roasted Kabocha Squash Soup Need to roast Kabocha much longer next time or at higher temp; pureed with apple/carrot/onion for sweetness
Rotini with chicken, portabella, and spinach pesto cream. Roux-based sauced thickened too...